


MCU text messages

by Zoe02



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Avengers Family, Chapter 2 takes place after civil war, Fluff, Gen, Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) - Freeform, Humor, Minor Gamora/Peter Quill, Movie Reference, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pirates of the Caribbean References, Post-Agents of SHIELD S03, Post-Ant-Man (2015), Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sarcasm, Superheroes, Tags Are Hard, Texting, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, they connect sometimes though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoe02/pseuds/Zoe02
Summary: Text messages between the characters of MCU.





	1. Chapter 1

Chat room: The Avenging Guardians.  
Chat room created by: Tony Stark.  
 Stark, Barton, Rogers, Quill, Rocket and Groot logged on.

Rogers: What's going on? 

Rogers: Who is Quill, Rocket and Groot?

Groot: I am Groot!

Rogers: It's nice to meet you Groot.

Groot: I am Grooott

Rogers: I know your name, you already told me.

Groot: I am... Groot?

Rocket: He can only say 3 words and type 3 words. I am Groot, also in that order only.

Quill: Yea, but after awhile you start understanding him. Also, it's nice to meet you Mister Roger.

Stark: I do believe there should be a 'Captain' in there.

Quill: Okay? It's nice to meet you ~Captain~ Rogers.

Rogers: You too, uh, Quill. May I ask how you gotten roped into this?

Quill: No clue! One minute we were flying to Nowhere, and the next we're on this chat!

Stark: Nowhere?

Rogers: ??

Rocket: y'know, the place where a bunch of thief and smugglers live?

Stark: We are earthlings, who had never left.

Groot: I am Groot!!

Rocket: Yea! I can't believe it either, buddy! Being on the same ol' planet all the damn time! 

Quill: Hey! Earth isn't that bad, man, don't dis earth!

Rocket: Whatever you say, Star ~idiot~.

Barton: Uh, Stark, Rogers, what the hell is going on?

Rogers: I don't know, Clint, apparently these three are not on this planet.

Groot: I am Groot!!

Quill: We're heading towards Nowhere to make a trade.

Quill added: Gamora and Drax

Rogers: Trade what, exactly?

Quill: Oh, y'know, things.

Stark: What kind of things?

Rocket: Things.

Groot: I am Groot!!

Rocket: Shh! You don't tell that to them, you idiot.

Groot: I am ~Groot~!

Rogers: What is going on?

Barton: No clue, but it seems somewhat illegal, whatever they are doing.

Groot: I ~am~ Groot!

Rocket: Fine! Tell them, I don't care!

Gamora: Tell them what?

Quill: What we're doing at the moment.

Drax: Are we not going to Nowhere to find where that Gem may be?

Rocket: *facepalms*

Rogers: You aren't going to steal it, are you?

Rocket: Psh, us steal something?

Quill: We would never!

Groot: I ~am Groot~!

Rocket: SHHH!

Barton: Did you know I used to be an assassin?

Gamora: No, though I am known as the deadliest woman in the Galaxy. Thanos trained me to be the perfect weapon.

Barton: in basic words, you're an assassin.

Stark: Doing illegal things at nowhere?

Quill: No, and yes!

Quill: ... Hey! We didn't pick this life, it picked us!

Quill: FINE, WE PICKED THE DAMN LIFE. GAMORA STOP HITTING ME NOW!

Stark: What the hell?

Barton: I almost want to leave, but I'm afraid I'll miss something.

Rogers: You're criminals?

Rocket: Well, duh.

Gamora: Ex criminals. Our records has been cleaned after we saved Xander.

Rogers: Tony did you know this?

Stark: Pssh, no. I thought they were heroes!

Quill: We are, just more gray than you guys.

Rogers: Like we need anymore people who's morally gray. 

Groot: I am Groot!

Rocket: yea, yeah. We gotta go, cya Avengers later.

Quill: Also, if you guys ever do end up in space, don't mention knowing us. It might not end well for you, sorry, man!

Groot, Rocket, Quill, Gamora, and Drax has logged off.

Barton: Well that was fun.

Rogers: Tony?

Stark: Yes?

Rogers: What did you do?

Stark: Gotten us some allies, of course!


	2. Parker and Stark...er?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony: C'mon kid, it'll be fun!
> 
> Peter: why me??? 
> 
> Tony: Cause you're amazing, kid! Thanks.

Private message room made by Tony Stark.

Tony: Hey, kid, got a question for you.

Peter: uh, okay?

Tony: Would it be alright if I asked your totally hot aunt out? 

Peter: What?? She's my aunt, Mr Stark! 

Tony: ...So that's a yes?

Peter: No! I don't want my aunt dating anyone! Especially a superhero!

Tony: Actually I'm not a superhero, my suit does everything (which I made), unlike you and others I'm not enhanced.

Peter: Um, okay? It's just, why my aunt May?

Tony: Well, for one she's hot.

A few seconds later;

Tony: Wait, Pete, you don't want me to be your Uncle? That hurts, kid.

Peter: I didn't mean it that way, Mister Stark! I'm sure you'll be a good uncle. It just... She's my aunt May!

Tony: *Rolls eyes* Oh, dear, it seems someone doesn't want a rich uncle.

Tony: Relax, kid, it'll probably only be one tiny lil' date.

Peter: .... 

Tony: C'mon kid, it'll be fun!

Peter: why me??? 

Tony: Cause you're amazing, kid! Thanks.

Peter is typing.

Tony Stark logged off.

Peter: WAIT WHAT? NO, MISTER STARK!!


	3. Barton and Romanoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barton: Well, I did retire.. and you joined the Avengers full time.. and leaked out all the SHIELD info for the world to know. I actually understand why he didn't try to grab us.
> 
> Romanoff: F*ck off, Barton

Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff private chat.

Barton: So, Nat, thing we should tell them?

Romanoff: Please, if they hadn't found it out now, then they'll still be looking until he decides he wants to be found out.

Barton: Yeah, imagine their faces! It's gonna be hilarious.

Romanoff: Ha, especially Stark's and Roger's.

Barton: Thor might know, cause of his friend... Hemball?

Romanoff: It's Heimdall, idiot.

Barton: yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways! How long do you think it'll take em, Nat?

Romanoff: Knowing them? Give them a couple of years, probably. That, or he shows up and says 'I'm not dead, but I need help'.

Barton: true, knowing Coulson, something like that might happen. That or his 'Secret Warriors' will need help.

Romanoff: I can't believe he replaced us.

Barton: Well, I did retire.. and you joined the Avengers full time.. and leaked out all the SHIELD info for the world to know. I actually understand why he didn't try to grab us.

Romanoff: F*ck off, Barton.

Barton: Love you too, Nat. Oh, Laura and the kids wants to know when you're coming over again?

Romanoff: Next weekend, hopefully. That is if no Avenger business comes up. You could always help, you know?

Barton: haha, funny Nat. I'll help every once and awhile, but that's about it.

Barton: Strangest thing, Daisy just added me to a group chat that has her, Coulson and a few others.

Romanoff: ooooh, add me to it. 

Barton: Uh, no can do, Nat.

Romanoff: Why not??

Barton: cause.

Romanoff: 'cause' why?

Barton: ... 

Barton logged off.

Romanoff: WHAT THE HELL BARTON?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to only post the chapters I have made already, after the tenth chapter, these one shot (which somewhat connect to each other) series will be over with. 
> 
> This chapter takes place after Avengers 2012, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and season 3 of Agents of SHIELD. 
> 
> Next one shot: Ant-man group chat! 
> 
> Right now, the story is set to 10 chapters, it all depends on the feedback to this story. Also, I'm shitty at tags, so forgive me.


	4. 4. Ant-man group chat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Van Dyne: Scott, this better be important.
> 
> Lang: Does going to jail again count?
> 
> Pym: What the hell?!

Group chat created by Scott Lang.  
Hope Van Dyne and Hank Pym was added to the chat.

Pym: What the hell Scott?

Van Dyne: Scott, this better be important.

Lang: Does going to jail again count?

Pym: What the hell?!

Lang: You've already said that.

Van Dyne: Are you out of jail right now?

Lang: Yeah... Cap broke us out. 

*Seconds later*

Lang: on the bright side, I meet the Avengers! Also, Hawkeye says hi.

Pym: You broke out of prison.

Lang: Yea, we did.

Van Dyne: What were you thinking Scott?

Lang: Well, I was thinking it was a good idea at the time. Turns out going to a supermax prison isn't all that fun.

Pym: You thought it was a good idea at the time? Are you an idiot, Scott?

Pym: Nevermind, I already know the answer.

Van Dyne: What about Cassie? Me? Everyone you care about?

Pym: This isn't something that'll just blow over.

Lang: I know that, but it was for a good cause.

Van Dyne: Where are you now?

Lang: Waiting for this to blow over, at a super secret place.

Lang: So, can you send me pictures every once and awhile?

Pym: Scott!

Lang: Of her, Cassie and the rest of the gang! Jeez, man. Get your head out of the gutters.

Van Dyle: I'll see about it. Just don't die.

Lang: No promises!

Scott Lang logged off.

Pym: Well he's doomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's.. been awhile. Updates will be irregular. 
> 
>  
> 
> ****  
> _Next time on MCU Text Messages; Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff, which takes place after AoU._  
> 


End file.
